Roe v. Wade - 40 yrs. is a long time, yet not enough

Today marks the 40th anniversary of the landmark ruling by the U.S. Supreme Court protecting a woman's right to choose when it comes to abortion. (For those still caught up in the politics of the debate over the issue, you should actually read the case, its background, and the decision published by the Court, for clarification. On Constitutional grounds, there is really no arguing against the position offered, 7-2 by the justices, based on their understanding of right to privacy, etc.).

Anyhoo - over most of my lifetime, the conflict between Pro-choice and Anti-choice (which I prefer to the term "Pro-life", as most "pro-lifers" regarding abortion are also ignorant fascists very much in support of capital punishment) has been raging as one of the most significant political items of our generation.

Unfortunately, the massive amount of attention, funding and time given to the abortion debate has been allowed to derail the broader set of ideas related to women's health care, health care access, and the fundamental right of all American's to be afforded the best in medical services no matter what (hey, I'm just a loud-mouthed progressive)....

Don't get me wrong - I understand that the decision to have an abortion is powerful, difficult and pushes a woman (or couple ) to question many things about their understanding of life and family. I also know that this choice is (and MUST remain) very personal - sacred and unique to the individual and situation involved. 

Though there can be no perfect, singular response regarding abortion - we must continue to promote, protect and safeguard the right to choose - no matter what that choice might be.

In memory of Kurt Simon

Here are the remarks I shared at the funeral service of Kurt Simon on Friday, January 11, 2013

It seems that many times when we memorialize a loved one, we say “wow, this person lived such a fulfilling, varied and interesting life – we could have written a book, or made a film.” Well, with Kurt Simon, we did just that. Kurt lived such a full, wide-ranging and fascinating life that there is a book (published by IUSB) and a documentary (produced by WNIT) among a whole host of other articles, tributes and acknowledgments that have been published about him. In many ways, Kurt Simon lived the proverbial American dream. He came here as a refugee from Europe; attained a very good education that allowed him to build a great career; he was a successful businessman and community leader; he was a generous donor who provided so much that has benefited so many of us in this very room, and well beyond.Kurt has been a major benefactor of a great number of worthy endeavors in our community. He has lent his name, spirit and generosity to so many different institutions and agencies. His name adorns a variety of foundations, funds and educational programs, and facilities as well. You are surely familiar with them, and, these are but a few of the pieces about Kurt that we can easily read about in the record of his life.Kurt Simon was much more. He was a person of passion who cared deeply about the various things that mattered to him. He was frank and forthright, never allowing you to wonder about his opinion. And mostly, he was a caring human being who desired, it seemed to me, to live long enough to take care of everyone in his life.He was fortunate to enjoy love and friendship along life’s path, first of course with Tessye and Bobby, and more recently through companionship with Mary Lou. Kurt’s life has been filled with loving relatives and dedicated friends, truly almost too many to mention. After 99+ years, perhaps this is the greatest accomplishment of all. It is an honor to be among today’s assembly of family, friends and community to honor Kurt’s life.

Paying tribute to him today, we must also acknowledge Kurt’s special dedication to the Jewish community and to this congregation, Temple Beth-El, of which he was immensely proud. I do not mean to refer to the name on the wall down the hall “The Kurt and Tessye Simon Education Building”, nor to his endowment of the various funds and programs we enjoy that bear his name. Rather, Kurt was proud of – no LOVED – you! The members of this congregation, the people of this community, became a beloved extension of Kurt’s family. He greatly enjoyed knowing us all, appreciating the roles we played in his life; and of course, he LOVED our knowing him as well, and thrived on the relationships he made among us.

Most especially, as his life continued, Kurt became enamored with children and young people. He relished the opportunity to be among our kids. Watching them learn, play and simply be around, Kurt would often whisper, with almost a tear in his eye, “how beautiful!” Enabling and ensuring the future for the children of this community was a joy for Kurt, yet another fruit of his labor that he cherished the chance to witness.

Just a few weeks ago, on a lovely Saturday morning, Kurt came to Temple for our Shabbat service, as he usually did. Asking to get a glass of water, he and I walked together into the kitchen. I grabbed a cup, filled it for him as we continued to chat. Then he turned to me: “Rabbi, you can begin writing the final words now.” At first I didn’t follow him, as I was thinking of beginning our service. He continued, “You know, the final words about me.” I responded that any such beautiful day where he and I could stand together was a great one, and let’s just take it a day at a time.

And now today, as we say farewell to Kurt Simon, we think of the ways he enriched our lives, as a friend or family member, as a business associate or board member, as a patron or adviser. Kurt led a life of service, teaching us by example how to turn ones luck, hard work and good fortune into something bigger that benefited us all. So, appropriately, I’ll leave the last words to him: may we too, in our own time, learn to “do our giving while we are living.”

ZICHRONO LIVRACHA – may Kurt Simon’s memory be for blessing.

2012: Challenges and Triumphs

CHALLENGES:

I turned 45 – Though I’ve never given much thought to the “importance” of the number associated with various birthdays, this one got me. For some reason, the several weeks leading up to May 6^th this year were really bothersome. Angst, anxiety, maybe even that mid-life mortality. Thankfully, it’s been great so far; I’ve got almost ½ of 45 left…hope it’s great;

The economy – well I guess nobody’s been left completely unaffected by the slackening of our economy over these last few years. And when DJS lost her position with the URJ – putting aside the many thoughts about the direction of our Reform movement – it ended up putting an unexpected dent in our economy. Like everyone else, we gotta deal with it.

Perspective – sometimes new information comes your way about long-held beliefs and truths that can shake your understanding of self, family and everything else.

Health – mine, thankfully, is fine, as it that of my immediate family. Yet I’ve witnessed too many of my friend, relatives, loved one suffer through the ups and downs of the health rollercoaster. Illness, injury, death – never fun.

TRIUMPHS:

Ben becomes Bar Mitzvah – almost  ‘nuff said. A monumental milestone in his life, and the life of our family – the pride I felt in the time of his preparation a year ago has only been surpassed by the real joy in watching him flourish even more so in the time since. Little Jazz is a great young guy; he’s bright and funny, and truly cares….cares about what or whom? You might ask….yes, cares about it all…

Vered blossoms – it must have been at some point in that period when I was fretting about my birthday, and we noticed something almost magical about Sister Soul. She simply bloomed like a (social) flower. Friends, school, camp, music, art, the kitties – you name it, she has grown exponentially in every conceivable way over the last many months. I can’t wait to see what happens next.

Temple – now in my seventh year with TBE – I have great, deep, wonderful, profound feelings for my community. Like anyone, I may doubt my career choices from time to time; there’s no doubting that I am fortunate to serve a loving congregation that will strive to be even more in this New Year.

Camp – clearly nothing is more important in what I do as a rabbi, nor what we do as a congregational movement, than afford the experience of Jewish summer camping for our children (and for those of us adults privileged to participate as well). No better building block of Jewish identity, self-esteem, and life-long relationships. The role I’ve been able to take on with my fellow faculty colleagues has been an honor – both taxing and tremendously uplifting.

20 years! Deb and I marked our twentieth anniversary a few days ago. And the usual platitudes apply: it’s been so long, yet feels like just yesterday; how did it fly so fast? can you believe we made it this long? I’m not old enough to be married 20 yrs, etc…Wow….all that and then some.

I turned 45 – forget what I said above. As dear ol’ dad likes to remind everyone, “It’s better than the alternative.” Hope you’ll join me for the next 45.

Needless to say, the triumphs far outnumbered and outweighed the challenges. Hope yours did too. More so, may 2013 be the best year yet, for us all.

YEMEI HA-CHANUKAH, pt. VIII: finale, this time around

Because I so enjoy the lightheartedness and fun of Hanukkah, I hate this last night of the holiday. You know, when it's basically *all over*. This week of lights has been full and fulfilling, with great joy and terrible sadness - a perfectly appropriate (and perhaps metaphoric) microcosm of the entirety of Jewish life.

This morning we tried to wrap our heads around and make sense of the tragic shooting at Sandy Hook school in Newtown, CT, as I'm sure many people all over the country tried to do. The great blessing was to address the issues surrounding this incident among a group of caring, intelligent, articulate, and feeling people.

This evening, we took the kids to see the Klezmatics at the DeBartolo Center at Notre Dame. I still think it's kinda funny that one of the most well-known and active Jewish bands would actually have a gig here in SB on the one Saturday evening during Hanukkah this year. It was a great show - wonderful musicianship and an upbeat mood was a great way to punctuate the holiday.

And then, arriving home, we remembered we didn't have enough candles to light the menorah (file under the category of "Hanukkah irony"). I pulled out the Shabbat candles, and the giant *chanukiah* they fit (which I think we got at Crate and Barrel a billion years ago)...and, voila, we kindled and blessed the lights for this final eve.

Miracles and stories recounted, candles lit and songs sung, latkes eaten, dreidels spun, it's nearly time to put Hanukkah 5773 in the container of sacred memories. Thankful for them all.

YEMEI HA-CHANUKAH, pt. VII: There are no words, and then...

At first, there are no words to capture the depth of tragedy, horror and sadness of today's shooting in Connecticut. SHOCK. SILENCE. TEARS.

And then, as the emotions roil over, the words emerge. Slowly, surely, even confidently and with hope:

Saddened, horified, devastated by the tragic events in CT today...can't even imagine what it is for those families and that community to undergo this destructive ordeal. Tonight, as we welcome Shabbat, and celebrate the 7th night of Hanukkah, may every one of us, no matter our background or beliefs, pause to truly consider how we can each be a bearer of light, goodness and compassion in our world which needs healing and love.

For the moment, put aside the coming arguments about gun control and the right to bear arms; don't over-analyze or psychologize those involved. There will be time for that. Now, just hurt, be sad, cry for the innocent lives that were taken today. Be human, be a mensch - tomorrow we'll fix the world.

YEMEI HA-CHANUKAH, pt. VI: a tin-full of memories

Perhaps even more significant than the famous Maxwell House Haggadah for Passover - which became one of the most significant American Jewish holiday tools of the 20th century - is the much less well-known, but similarly important "Maxwell House Coffee Tin Dreidel container." When I was young, and began collecting the dreidels I received at various family and Temple Hanukkah events, I asked for some sort of box or something in which to keep them. Trusty ol' dad (well, not so old back then of course!) ran down to the basement, and pulled out of a pile of stuff a wonderful, empty coffee can, lid and all.

I put those few dreidels in it, and over the years, as I got more at each Hanukkah celebration, the tin became fuller and fuller - and actually at one point *overflowed* so the cover no longer fit. And as I tip it over tonite, spilling the many tops on our kitchen table, I am reminded very visually of a host of Hanukkah eves gone by: the times spent with the chavurah to which our family belonged for a few years; the year we gave goodies, gifts and necessities to a newly-arrived Russian Jewish family (including a bunch of dreidels); the Hanukkah that began just after Grandma died; lighting the menorah the week of our wedding, and then years later at my nephew's Bar Mitzvah; the many Festival eves with Ben and Vered, and of course so many more.

May every turn of YOUR dreidel spin a new sacred memory.

YEMEI HA-CHANUKAH, pt. V: lighting it up with the kids

It's the 5th nite of Hanukkah. And it's Wednesday - which means we get to light up the menorah with our Religious School kids. Before the blessings and candles, I asked the students to tell me what they thought the significance of this night 5 means. They came up with great responses: "there are 5 days in the school week"; "there were 5 people in class today"; and, most touchingly (the more I've thought about it), "there are 5 fingers on each hand." Hmmmm...5 fingers...with which we can reach out to one another, embrace, hold up during times of blessing as well as challenge. A simple sweet idea for this otherwise uneventful night of joy.