Kol Nidrei 5773

ELOHAI N’TZOR L’SHONI MEYRA US’FATAI MIDABER MIRMA
My God, guard my speech from evil and my lips from deception.

Through the long hot weeks of this past summer, I intended on this night to address the savage breakdown of interpersonal discourse that has pervaded our world.  Politicians, public officials, journalists and yes, private citizens have lost sight of (or neglected) the value and significance of respectful interchange.  As we have witnessed this erosion of respect between people – particularly and especially when they differ – so too have we been subject to the dismissal of some of the fundamental building blocks of American society and our sacred Jewish tradition.
In has masterful work Revolt of the Elites, Christopher Lasch reminds us that “democracy requires a vigorous exchange of ideas and opinions. Ideas, like property, need to be distributed as widely as possible.” And yet, when we forego the expectation that our dialogue and debate are necessarily imbues with dignity, compassion and patience, we learn (as Lasch writes) that “democratic debate degenerates all too easily into a shouting match in which the voice of reason seldom makes itself heard.”
So – I’ve been reading and studying, collecting illustrations of this tragic change in our perspective regarding how we treat and deal with others, publicly and privately. For example, another recent work – The Voting Wars by Richard Hasen – outlines how this dramatic shift in interpersonal behavior has led to such outcomes as fraud, voter suppression and intimidation, and even lying about citizenship and eligibility to register in the electoral process. As you well know, all you have to do is open up the paper, listen to the radio, or watch TV in order to be exposed to this unhealthy and often unethical conduct. Right?
Unfortunately, bullying and bigotry, hatred and deceit, nastiness and nosiness are not limited to the realm of public media. And that’s where the real trouble is. Listen to banter in the school yard and the classroom, around the work place and out in restaurants. Consider the demeanor among young people, and more than ever among adults. We can easily find less than exemplary treatment by one person of another. I dare say we might even recognize these experiences in our home and private lives.
From words of Torah we are taught that ALL people are created in the Divine image; to love our neighbor as ourselves; and that our responsibility is to pursue justice and make peace. How is it that our society has jeopardized these basic, yet powerful possibilities of the human condition? One response, again according to Lasch: “Trust in life carries the risk of disappointment, so we inoculate ourselves with irreverence.” Perhaps we’ve become so generally distrusting of one another that we only know how to protect our frailties through disrespect – i.e. “do unto others before they do unto you.” But I don’t buy this. As human beings, as Jews, we must cultivate a greater sense of hope in our human potential – to be kind (and kinder), to be generous and giving, to be compassionate and caring, and simply nice. Of course, this outlook is challenged, even attacked, every day. Yet I am buoyed by what we used to read in the Gates of Prayer: some are guilty, all are responsible.
On this very day, let us acknowledge that WE are responsible to improve and repair this situation. Truly, some of us, maybe all of us, are guilty to some extent in allowing an atmosphere in which lousy, rude and negative behavior is condoned, tolerated, unchecked. OK, we’re not all, nor always, lying, nasty and difficult. Yet there are times when we haven’t stood up for someone in need, defended someone from unwarranted gossip or slander, or when we’ve ignored malice aimed at someone else, simply because it was more convenient, or easier, to look away, to “not get involved.”
No matter how complicit we have been in getting our society to this point, we are ALL responsible, together, to address it, beginning of course, with ourselves. Let’s take a moment to look at the very book in front of us. If we can’t pay attention to the words right here, what are we here for anyway? Please open to page 326:
Help me then, O God; help me always, but especially now, on this sacred Day of Atonement; help me to banish from myself whatever is mean, ugly, callous, cruel, stubborn, or otherwise unworthy of a being created in Your image. Purify me, revive me, uplift me. Forgive my past, and lead me into the future, resolved to be your servant.
And just what does it mean to be God’s servant? That’s truly a tough question. On this day, in this season, as we look to become better versions of ourselves, as we strive to work together to make our world a better place, the idea of being God’s servant is summed up, in part, with the words of Al CHEYT, our listing of wrongdoings and pledges to do better:
We sin against You when we sin against ourselves. For our failures of truth, O Lord, we ask forgiveness. For passing judgment without knowledge of the facts, and for distorting facts to fit our theories. For deceiving ourselves and others with half-truths, an dfor pretending to emotions we do not feel. For using the sins of others to excuse our own, and for denying responsibility for our own misfortunes. For condemning in our children the faults we tolerate in ourselves, and for condemning in our parents the faults we tolerate in ourselves. Teach us to forgive ourselves for all these sins, O forgiving God, and help us to overcome them.
Then perhaps we can rebuild and enhance trust, respect, dignity, pleasantness and politeness throughout our community, and the wider society beyond.
As rendered in our Mishkan T’fila:
ELOHAI N’TZOR L’SHONI MEYRA US’FATAI MIDABER MIRMA
My God, guard my speech from evil and my lips from deception. Before those who slander me, I will hold my tongue, I will practice humility. Open my heart to Your Torah, that I may purse Your mitzvot. As for all who think evil of me, cancel their designs and frustrate their schemes. Act for Your own sake, for the sake of Your Power, for the sake of Your Holiness, for the sake of Your Torah; so that Your loved ones may be rescued, save with Your power, and answer me.