Best of 2013 (?)

2013 comes to an end: in many ways it was a wonderful, fulfilling and interesting year; and yes, in some ways it was God-awful - the pain endured by so many...difficulties at work and at home...illness, sadness and despair...and particularly the journey we shared in some minor way with those who suffered loss and disappointment. To alleviate that pain remains a most heartfelt goal...
And yet, I am inspired to think of the bright spots that dotted the calendar...and to use them to cultivate a sense of gratitude for the many blessings that keep us buoyed throughout. So here are some of those thoughts to frame this transition between the year that was, and the new one yet to be. In no particular order, just that of my rambling mind.

Music: a renewed interest in the Black Crowes, thanks in particular to one special friend; an ongoing love for all things vital like the Who, Kinks, Stones, Zep; and all things jazz...

Books: Thomas Jefferson - the Art of Power by Jon Meacham; Shai Held's Abraham J OSHA Heschel! the Call of Transcendence; World Peace and other 4th-Grade Achievements by John Hunter...

Other reads: www.supermansamuel.blogspot.com...'Nuff said...

Food: introducing V to Brazazz in Chicago; cooking with Little Jazz; culinary exploits at home and on the road...

Fun: Triple-D on Food Network (maybe I'll bleach my hair); Angel's Envy (thanks Matt); cherry Gibson...

Professional experiences: getting to sing, lead and celebrate with two very special student cantors, Dave and Lucy...

Community involvement: the sacred privilege to serve the United Religious Community of St. Joe County, committees of the CCAR, and especially the rabbinic/educational/cantorial committee (RECC) of OSRUI...

Camp: to fundraiser serve on faculty, send my children and encourage others to enjoy this most vital experience...

Inspirations: Julie, Neshama, David L., Rachel L., Gayle and always PT...

Sacred privilege: to be part of the #36rabbis effort raising funds and awareness in support of pediatric cancer research, in memory of beloved Sam Sommer, child of our dear friends Rabbis Michael and Phyllis. Your example has taught us through this unfathomable ordeal. It is a humbling honor to carry his spirit as an inspiration for the worthy work we now do.

Most undeserved status: maintaining the love and connectedness of such a great group of beloved friends and comrades, and mostly of my own immediate family. Let's do better, love more, and enjoy truly in the year, and God-willing years, ahead.

Grieve. Mourn. Love.

These were the three words that came to mind as we got ready to drive to Chicago to attend the saddest occasion I can recall. Many of you are now familiar with the story of Sammy Sommer, child of dear friends and colleagues Rabbis Michael and Phyllis. Through his 18-month struggle with acute myeloid leukemia, Michael and Phyllis have been brave enough, strong enough, loving enough to share Sam’s journey (and theirs) on their blog, www.supermansamuel.blogspot.com.

Their experience has truly informed us, not just about the horrific nature of pediatric cancers (and aml specifically); through their beautiful writing and generous spirit, Phyllis and Mike have taught us, inspired us, and challenged us to be more concerned, understanding, and thoughtful regarding others, especially our own loved ones (whom we often take for granted, even the best of us). For me, I know that they have opened my eyes to be a better rabbi, father, husband and friend. I so wish I could do anything to alleviate even a tiny bit of their pain.

I am privileged to know the Sommers as colleagues and more so as friends – a family that has become dear to mine. Our time together at camp. At each other’s homes. The shared laughs, tears, jokes, staying up together way past our bedtimes…

I am in awe of the community that they have drawn together – the circles of people from the various parts of their lives that have coalesced into a loving network of extended family. I am proud to be part of this. I am inspired by the group of rabbinic partners who have come together as #36 Rabbis Shave for the Brave to raise funds for pediatric cancer research for the St. Baldrick’s foundation (for more info and to consider a donation, please see http://www.stbaldricks.org/participants/mypage/660663/2014).

And for now, I am most grateful for classmate Rabbi Steven Stark Lowenstein of Am Shalom, the Sommer’s congregation who orchestrated the most difficult time imaginable with beauty and grace. Steven, your loving care for Sam and his family and the deeply touching way you guided us through the beginning of the grieving process will always be treasured, beyond words.

For Phyllis, Michael, David, Yael and Solly – know that we all are with you – and we are better because you shared Sammy with us. His light shines…

Again it's time, "ask not what your country can do for you..."

For those who witnessed, and yes for those born soon after, the assassination of President Kennedy did much to shape - if not define - a generation of America. Growing up outside Boston in the 70's, in what I've always called "Kennedy's Massachusetts", the impact of that event loomed large, as the nostalgia for the Kennedy mystique deepened further. Profiles in Courage and PT 109 were frequent choices on our reading lists in school. I was nearly bar mitzvah before realizing that Camelot was actually a play about some guy named Arthur...
Here we are, on the 50th anniversary of that fateful day. Many of the issues that troubled us then - world peace, economic disparity, racial divides, religious intolerance, the need for greater social justice - are still as significant today. Certainly some of the details and players have changed: Cold War alliances have given way to concerns about global terrorism; the struggle for civil rights now includes the strides we are making for our LGBT brothers and sisters; our social welfare efforts concern not only addressing poverty - they are also needed to fulfill our responsibility to an ever-increasing aging population as we've never known before.
And there is still hope that we can live up to our promise to become a better world. Looking at our situation today or during the Kennedy era (or any other point in time you choose) is but a momentary snapshot of the human condition. We need to involve a longer view of our history to sustain such hope. Consider this: this week we also mark the 150th anniversary of the Gettysburg Address, that powerful, articulate vision that Lincoln delivered during a particularly bleak and vulnerable time for our nation. Fast forward 100 years. It is following the Kennedy assassination that we truly begin the repair and resolve the issues that had torn the country apart through civil war. The Civil Rights act, the Voting Rights act, enabled in the mid 60s, we're predicated by earlier voices, Lincoln's included.
We still have much to do, much farther to go to bring about the just society that has been hinted at in every generation. On this sacred memorial, let us recommit ourselves to partnership with all of our fellow human beings in working toward that day.

PT:

I've had enough of living,
I've had enough of dying.
I've had enough of smiling,
I've had enough of crying.
I've taken all the high roads,
I've squandered and I've saved, 
I've had enough of childhood,
I've had enough of graves....

Been a tough couple of weeks....for me and my peeps...
The good people and leaders have come together to resolve a challenging situation while stepping in to protect me/my family....

Unfortunately they've been slung with mud as well....and it's ugly....
I so appreciate the efforts and stance and integrity of those involved...
And hurt for the pain they share in having to address the irreverent, arrogant, unfounded BS shoved onto them.....

"Love, reign o'er me...."



 

#BlogElul 28: "give"

For Elul 28:

Give - grateful for the chance to share

#BlogElul 27: "intend"

For Elul 27 (yesterday!):

Intend - We all sometimes lose our day

#BlogElul 26: "hope"

So Little Jazz and I were watching StarWars: The Clone Wars (animated) late last nite...and then today we were dancing to Harry Belafonte's Man Smart (Woman Smarter), having a grand ol' time...Jewish tradition, George Lucas, and many more have it right - there's always great hope for the next generation...

For Elul 26:

Hope - the future has to be better

#BlogElul 25: "begin"

The college football season begins this weekend. And here in South Bend, that means Notre Dame. This community seems to be focused on opening weekend all year: looking forward to it, or back upon it. In some ways, ND football dominates life around town, especially on home game weeks: hotels and restaurants are overbooked, retail shopping spikes, the traffic becomes heavier and frustrating. I've heard estimates that an additional 100,000+ people descend on the area *each* home weekend. 
And we also know that every game is a vital opportunity, beyond the outcome of the game. The local economy benefits, there's an enthusiastic buzz in the air, people are genuinely more interested in those around them.
With the conclusion of Elul in a few days, we are coming toward the beginning of yet a different new season. Like fall football, the holy days will bring its own set of pageantry and excitement. Maybe not shiny new helmets, end zone dances and hopes to make a bowl game - yet Rosh HaShanah will certainly kick off a time of hopes for the future, long overdue chances to greet and embrace loved ones and friends, and surely even show off a nice outfit or two along the way. 
The possibilities of such renewed beginnings are not reserved just for *big* times like the Yamim Nora'im or the opening of a sports season. We can bring this buzz into the new experiences we find each and every day.

For Elul 25:

Begin: Ladies and gentlemen, start your engines. 

#BlogElul 24: "end"

What are the true edges, peripheries, points of demarcation in life? Where does one week “end” and another “begin?” (aah, the flux time of Shabbat). Where does one opportunity trail off, yet another emerge? Where’s “the end of the earth?”

For Elul 24:

End – limited only by what we see

#BlogElul 23: "love"

All you need is love...
Love, love me do...
All my lovin' I will give to you...
My love does it good...
And I love her...
And in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make...
I gave my love a chicken that had no bones :)

So much to say, so much to sing...

For Elul 23:

Love - Don't be afraid to share it...

#BlogElul 22: "dare"

Today marks the 50th anniversary of the March on Washington, and Dr. King's famous "I have a dream" speech. Engaging, inspiring, even transfixing - these word remain a powerful reminder of the efforts that have been made to make our society a more just one, and of the work still ahead to bring such dreams to life. Yesterday, today, tomorrow - there will be visionaries to guide us.

For Elul 22:

Dare - There are those who dream big

#BlogElul 21: "change"

Every bit counts...

For Elul 21:

Change - buddy can you spare a dime?

#BlogElul 20: "judge"

For Elul 20:

Judge - Opinion is not the whole truth

#BlogElul 19: "ask"

For Elul 19:

Ask - what the heck am I doing?

#BlogElul 18: "pray"

Never sure what I feel about the efficacy of prayer. Kind of a complicated area in modern Jewish life. And who knows?

For Elul 18:

Pray - Do my Sox have a prayer?

#BlogElul 17: "awaken"

For Elul 17:

Awaken – sometimes you need more than coffee

#BlogElul 16: "change"

Change. Wow. Hard. 

Most of us stuck in the mud. We human beings are creatures of habit. We decry the *status quo* of days gone by, yet subscribe to it nonetheless. The human animal is meant to evolve, grow, progress....and yet we fight against it so hard for reasons we can't even grasp or articulate. However...there's always hope....

For Elul 16:

Change - A chance to make a difference.

#BlogElul 15: "learn"

Kids start new school year today.

Though true, these aren’t the six words I intended to share for this post. Rather, consider the following reflective lyrics – provided by Buckcherry – that speak to our responsibility to improve/repair/heal the world, and how it is still upon us to learn how:

Lately I've been thinking
About how we live our lives
There are too many conflicts
Cause no one sees eye to eye
And now the world is changing
We got polluted sand in the sea
We keep fighting for oil
And killing in the Middle East

This is our world
To make it last
We have to not repeat the past
Just step outside
When will we learn the destruction of our world
Our world

If all we have is one life
And your never coming back again
Would you look at what we done
As a beginning or an end
When I feel the sunlight
I wonder how much my world can take
We must do something now
With so many lives at stake

This is our world
To make it last
We have to not repeat the past
Just step outside
When will we learn the destruction of our world

This is our world
We must give back
Instead of killing what we have
To love inside and spread the word
If you want to save our world
Our world

I've said enough
I've had enough
I'm sick and tired of just waiting
A world corrupted
So out of touch
Our world how do I save it

How do I save it
How do I save it
How do I save it

This is our world
To make it last
We have to not repeat the past
Just step outside
When will we learn the destruction of our world

This is our world
We must give back
Instead of killing what we have
To love inside and spread the word
If you want to save our world

For Elul 15:

Learn – What will you teach this time?

#BlogElul 14: "Remember"

For Elul 14:

Remember – Names, dates, places, times to treasure

#BlogElul 13: "forgive"

for·give

verb \fər-ˈgiv, fȯr-\

for·gave \-ˈgāv\for·giv·en \-ˈgi-vən\for·giv·ing

transitive verb

1  a : to give up resentment of or claim to requital for <forgive an insult>

   b : to grant relief from payment of <forgive a debt>

2  : to cease to feel resentment against (an offender) : pardon <forgive one's enemies>

intransitive verb

: to grant forgiveness

— for·giv·able \-ˈgi-və-bəl\ adjective

— for·giv·ably \-blē\ adverb

— for·giv·er noun

For Elul 13:

Forgive – learning how to let it go

#BlogElul 12: "trust"

"You are never going to become the person you are meant to be until you learn to put a little faith in other people." (Keeping the Faith, 2000)

This line, taken with liberty from a pivotal scene in a favorite movie of mine, is a notion I wrestle with nearly every day. With all the talents, skills, passions that we each have, one of the most difficult for us to manage is a sense of *real* trust in others. From the strangers in our midst to our closest friends and relatives, it is way too easy to take them for granted and not entrust ourselves to them. It's safe, it's protective, no allowing ourselves to be vulnerable. And yet it's our vulnerability that makes us human.

For Elul 12:

Trust - becoming our complete selves through others

#BlogElul 11: "count"

Sometimes we all get so caught up in life....
oops...

For Elul 11:

Count - Lost track of days on Shabbat :)

#BlogElul 10: "See"

Eyesight to the blind… Seeing is believing in the things you see… What do you think I saw… So many rich examples of the metaphor of “sight”…and how it refers to much more than only what the eyes take in. Even the word we use for inward reflection – “introspection” – actually means “to look within.” And just what is it we are looking for? That’s the big question of Elul. For Elul 10: See – Can you see the real me?

#BlogElul 9: "hear"

Do you hear or do you listen?

Listening to you, I get the music
Gazing at you, I get the heat
Following you, I climb the mountain
I get excitement at your feet...

almost a no brainer...

For Elul 9:

Hear - shema yisrael adonai eloheynu adonai echad

#BlogElul8: "Believe"

Belief - among the most difficult elements of the human condition for contemporary liberal people to discuss. Part of it is because we live in an age in which "belief" is not always perceived as a necessary building block of personal identity; also, and related, is that for generations we have been socialized away from sharing and articulating what we believe, the depth - if any - of our faith, and even our most closely held doubts. Partly due to how our religious education has developed: yes, we learn the books of the Bible, the holiday stories, and some generic pediatric versions of theology. Far too seldom do we explore our understanding of self, the cosmos, God at a developmental level that is appropriate for the emerging stages of life (last year's Reform Movement-sponsored God Survey is perhaps a notable exception). Let's also not forget that in this post-feminist era of the decline of male presence in public religious life, men have been particularly absent in these conversations - to the detriment of all.

And so, along with other factors, it becomes easier to sail through life without the power of belief to serve as an anchor when necessary. Lacking this tool, the challenges we face all to easily lead to self-doubt rather than opportunities for growth, collaboration and renewal. I'm not sure how to *fix* this issue - maybe we begin just be being willing to share.

For Elul 8:

Belief - faith in something big inside ourself (Pete Townshend)

#BlogElul 7: "Be"

From Shakespeare (“to thine own self be true”) to Reb Zusya (“I will be asked only why wasn’t I more like Zusya”) – one of the most powerful and difficult life lessons to learn is about the notion of being. Not doing, acting, responding – simply being. It’s about the power of our presence, our essence, and how even our (“mere”) existence itself is something holy and unique.

For Elul 7:

Be – At ease with your own self.

#BlogElul 6: "Do"

Recently I was reminded of something I wrote a few years back in the "personal statement" that was part of my professional resume: "I see the ultimate goal for us as individuals and as a community to be three-fold: to learn something new each day; to do something of worth and value each day; and to express love each day. Judaism's core demands are found within these acts." One of my great mentors teaches that most of us spend our days doing things we'd rather not, instead of engaging mainly in the things about which we are truly passionate - and that this is a monumental waste. These days of Elul give us the chance to reframe our thinking and redirect our energies into what we really want to be doing. For Elul 6: Do - Enjoy something you love each day.

#BlogElul 5: "Know"

Days pass and the years vanish, and we walk sightless among miracles. God, fill our eyes with seeing our our minds with knowing; let there be moments when Your Presence, like lightning, illumines the darkness in which we walk. Help us to see, wherever we gaze, that the bush burns unconsumed...
How filled with awe is this place, and we did not know it.
(adapted from Mishkan T'filah)

There are few, if any, things in life that we truly come to know with certainty. Luckily, among those is the sense of completeness provided by perhaps even just a few others in our lives - even if just in those precious moments that we too often take for granted. 

For Elul 5:

Know - Boy home from camp, household whole.

#BlogElul 4: "Accept"

Growing up at camp is probably where I learned best to accept others, and more so to try to accept myself - all my varied qualities, flaws and all...
After a (seemingly) long summer, tomorrow we retrieve Ben after eight weeks away at camp...where I'm sure he too grew in his capacity to accept other, and to come to grips with his own emerging self. I know he will be, in many ways, a very different person than the one we dropped off back in June...this excites me to see, and saddens me as well, as it is but one more way of marking the passing of time - as my children grow toward young adulthood, we move beyond some of the warm fuzzies of our little children, hopefully to be replaced by new closeness at each stage along the way...feeling sentimental for time gone by.

For Elul 4:

Accept - True relationship demands including our flaws.

#BlogElul 3: "Bless"

Often, we use the word “bless” (and those opportunities to bless) as a synonym for “thanks” – as in giving thanks for what we have. This seems very natural for us. And yes, I think “to bless” is to take account of the *blessings* we have in our lives: friends and family, the things and activities we enjoy, a cold beer with a friend on a hot summer day…all part of that ongoing effort to cultivate an “attitude of gratitude.” And so to bless is also to recognize and be grateful for the chances we have in life – to progress, to grow, to become something even more than we already are. For Elul 3: Bless – Each day a chance to improve.

#BlogElul 2: "Act"

Everyone knows that this time of year - Elul, prepping for the New Year, school's just around the corner, etc. - the Jewish community and its institutions are looking for some sort of magic wand to wave to inspire people to "return" to the synagogue, elevate their involvement throughout the year, and so on....I'm not sure there is such a thing - though we continue hoping and looking for such a turn of events...
It seems that the healthier effort is to continue cultivating a "culture of engagement" by providing opportunities and entree points for meaningful experience - to raise the tide as it were, for as we have been taught - 

For Elul 2:

Act - Jewish is as Jewish does, only.

#BlogElul 1: "Prepare"

As part of my participation in #BlogElul for 5773, I am going to try to post a "six word memoir" based on the theme of the day provided by #BlogElul founder, my friend and colleague Rabbi Phyllis Sommer (www.imabima.blogspot.com, and follow on Twitter @imabima).

And similarly to last year, this first day of Elul coincides with the onset of Eid al-Fitr, the recognition in Islam of the end of the period of Ramadan. As we look forward to a New Year of health, happiness, peace and love - may the entire world know a period of greater harmony.

So here goes, for Elul 1:

Prepare: Developing calendar with president and educator. 

Hope this is a great month for you and yours...

the countdown begins - comfort, consolation and conciliation are sweet

Now beyond Tisha B’Av – commemorating so much tragedy of the past – we count down toward the New Year. Recalling the destruction of the ancient Temple, we read the sheva de-nechemta, the seven “haftarot of consolation”, bringing us from utter despair toward renewal by the onset of Rosh HaShanah. And we are taught – though perhaps we haven’t experienced such calamity as the Temple’s destruction or persecutions or pogroms – ALL of us go through difficulty (ranging from hardship and illness to miscommunication, misperception and even our own stupid behavior) which can only be salved through the same call of nachamu nachamu ami (“comfort, comfort, My people”) that God promised before…in these weeks leading toward 5774, may we all be granted the strength to give comfort, consolation and conciliation to whomever needs, and the openness to receive these blessing as well. 

L’dor Vador – cultivating a new generation of camp kids

For all generations we will tell of Your greatness and for all eternity proclaim Your holiness…Blessed are You Adonai, the holy God.

I remember as a young camper (at URJ Eisner Camp) learning to sing “L’dor Vador” – from the morning sanctification prayer that speaks of our obligation to shout praise for God. We often use these words as a catch phrase regarding our ongoing commitment to ensure Jewish continuity “from generation to generation.” We especially enjoyed a version written by Debbie Friedman,z”l, whose life story was so closely intertwined with OSRUI, where I am privileged to serve. At first, this lovely hymn was mostly a catchy way for us to learn a fairly difficult piece of Hebrew liturgy. As I grew through my teen years toward adulthood, the words began to challenge and enhance my appreciation of where I stand in the flow of the Jewish people – that is, what is my job in being part of the “chain of tradition.” And then, as a rabbi and teacher, and even more so as a parent, L’dor Vador took on new meaning: as I began to explore the richness of our tradition with adult congregants, I recognized that none of us are alone on this journey through the generations; while teaching students about Jewish life and living, I came to embrace my role as a mentor, role-model and guide; and of course as a parent, I have been able to see the fondest of my own hopes come to life through my children, as I have grown as a Jew and human being with them. I have been fortunate that my own son and daughter have found a home, a place to flourish surrounded by a loving community of peers here at camp.

Just today, I had the chance to give a tour of camp to a family with prospective camper children. Yet this was different than the several other camp visits I’ve guided. Sure, I shared the same enthusiasm about OSRUI and the power of Reform Jewish camping with them. Here’s the sweet thing: this was the family of my best friend from college. He and I met on our first day as freshmen, nearly 30 years ago. Though already age 18 at the time, we’ve truly “grown up” together. I officiated their wedding, they attended our son’s celebration of Bar Mitzvah, and so on…and today, I was able to share the joy and magic of camp with them and their two young daughters, who I hope will attend OSRUI in the future. What a complete pleasure to promote the wonderful experience of this camp not only with my dear old pal – but with his children as well. Unbelievable and priceless.

So now, as I intone the words of L’dor Vador, I am able to look back on the many episodes that have helped shape me. More so, I take note of the trust given to me to help shape the generation ahead.